The Skelepun Hero : Comic Sans
by Tunc Draco
Summary: When I died, I didn't expect to be given another chance at life. At least I'll be able to make a ton of skeletons puns and have a lot of fun. SI/OC.
1. Chapter 0 : New life

Chapter 0 : New life

**Hi everyone, this is my first ****fanfiction**** so be indulgent. So, it's basically a self-insert and I'm also going to take one or two ideas from others ****fanfiction**** but no more, there's going to have a few pairings.  
I don't own My Hero Academia.  
_**

It's a beautiful day outside, birds are singing, flowers are blooming. On days like this, I die on a car accident. Well, it was what I imagined when it happened and yes, I did make a reference to Undertale cause of what happened next. Did I get reborn in Undertale universe? No, but it's a cool universe too. But let's start at the beginning.

'_Well, it was a brutal accident. Huh, where am I?_' I looked around me and I could see absolutely nothing. '_Don't tell me that I'm dead_.' A light appeared in front of me and take a humanoid form.

"**Welcome to the void!**" The light said which freak me out.

'_The void? Well, if I'm in the void that mean…_' "I… I'm dead, right?" I asked knowing full well the answer.

"**Yes, you are dead!**" it said, 'Thanks for the subtlety' I thought ironically but the form continued "**But I am going to send you in another world where you can be more useful or happy. It all depends on you.**"

'_A second chance? Well, I'm not gonna screw it this time no matter what happens_' "Thanks for giving me a new chance at life." I said smiling genuinely.

"**I hope you are going to enjoy this new life.**" it said with a hint of amusement that makes me a little uncomfortable.

And it is how I started my second life. Oh, did the light form said it was gonna be a fucking harsh start.


	2. Chapter 1: Harsh start

Chapter 1: Harsh start

The light form became more and more luminous and I saw people, they are tall, but they are really tall like giants. It's when I saw a man in a surgeon's outfit that I understood that I was really reborn. I don't know why, but I felt like crying, so I cried at the great pleasure of every-one, I wasn't stupid, I know that if a baby doesn't cry it's a problem. Once I finished crying, I was given to, I think, my new parents and with that I took a good look at the couple whose gonna be my parents.

"こんにちは、私はあなたの父親です" the man I presume to be my new father said, he is muscular guy with curly black hair and bright yellow eyes. "これはあなたのお母さんです" he continued while showing me my new mother, my mother is a beautiful woman in her mid-twenty with white hair and blue eyes as bright as my father eyes. "私はあなたに電話することにしましたSans, Gaikotsu Sans"

'_Yep, last name first in Japan. Wait a minute, Sans? And doesn't the kanji for __Gaikotsu__ means skeleton? Why do I have a bad feeling about this and why I feel that it's related to the light form amusement. __Fuck__ I'm __gonna__ have to learn Japanese._'

And my parents didn't stop talking to me, but I can see in their faces that they are really happy that I'm born but I felt tired and fell asleep no long after. The next day I was able to get out of the hospital and go to my new home. They started to present me the house while like I knew exactly what they said. They seem kind, even though I don't know what they say for the moment. At the end of the visit I fell asleep and when I woke up I was in what seems to be my bedroom with my father stow something in a closet.

"ああ、あなたは起きています。 あなたは空腹でなければなりません。" he said be-fore giving me my feed bottle and get out of the room. '_Yeah, it's __gonna__ be a long childhood._'

* * *

It's been four fucking years, and it took me three years to learned how to properly talk, read, and write the Japanese, did I say that I was a fast learner? And with the time I finally know in what universe I had been thrown; I had been thrown in My fucking Hero Academia; even though it took me two years to find it.

When I grew up, I saw what I look like, I have curly gray hair (why my hair are always curly no matter the universe) and for my eyes, well for my left eye towards the inside of my iris it's yellow and towards the outside blue and my right eye it's the opposite the yellow towards the outside and the blue towards the inside, and they are as bright as my parents ones.

I also learned what are my parent's quirks, my father can create light beam from is hands and my mother can generate crystals in the air and control them. I always wonder why they don't become heroes. My father's name is Gaikotsu Kosen, and he is an engineer from a support industry, my mother's name is Gaikotsu Hari is a journalist from a well-known newspaper. They care a lot about me and want me to make friends from my age. It's not that I don't want to make friends, but I prefer studying and doing analysis of heroes fight and quirks. For the study part I'm already to the High school level thanks to my previous life and my parents who help me, and I'm not bad at the fights or quirks analysis.

Well, now we are in a doctor office to know what quirk I'm going to get, me being between my parents. Even my father takes a day off for that, he never takes a day off for anything not even at Christmas, and I can say it, it's freaking me at a level I didn't know I could reach. I know he wants me becoming a hero, but he wants more that I have a great quirk, like that he can have a promotion and my mother just to not having the shame to raise a quirkless kid. You remember when I said they seemed kind, they are only if they benefit later. Well now you know how stressful it is for me right now. My thoughts were cut off by the doctor coming in the office. The doctor looked at me with pity, thing that my parents didn't see, and at that moment I knew that my childhood was not going to be a good one.

"Mr. and Ms. Gaikotsu" he started with a sad tone that made me want to ran away. "I'm sorry to say you that, but your son doesn't have a quirk.". In an instant the air become cold around me, I waited for an outburst from my parents, but they were deadly calm. '_I don't know what I prefer, this or an outburst._'

"Thanks, doctor." my father told the doctor. His tone gave me chills, due to its coldness.

With that we go back home in a deadly silence. When we came into the house my father started to beat me and yell at me about why I didn't have a quirk, my mother did nothing but watch with a smile. The man I called dad was about to use his quirk on me, but my mother stops him saying he was going too far, but I didn't care less. He was going to use his quirk on me. HIS. FUCKING. QUIRK.

And it last for a month, every time my mother stopping him to using his quirk on me, but not today, today she had a report to do, leaving me and my father alone, the only thing I didn't want for my fifth birthday. My new routine is to wake at 4A.M, making my breakfast, studying for an hour, then training my little for thirty minutes thanks to a workout for five years old kid I found when I was alone on the computer and then get out of the house for the day because they don't even let me go to school, not that I found it interesting but you know the degrees and their importance in the world. And why I do all that because they don't have money to waste for me.

But this time one of my nightmare become reality, my father wakes up before me and was waiting for me with a malicious smirk and I know that I'm going to live hell today. He then started to beat me but this time he did it for the whole morning that means eight fucking hours of beating without a break, and since my mother is not here, he used his quirk. After the morning beating, he cooked me something. I should be happy, right? To answer to that, no I shouldn't happy with that because he is going to start again for the afternoon. I eat what he cooked even though it's disgusting for two reasons. One: I don't want to die, and I need some strength back for what's going happen next. Two: it's related to the first one but it's I have something to prove, I'm gonna prove them that being quirkless doesn't mean less than nothing.

Once I finished eating, he beat me again with his quirk but the more he hits me, the more I have the sensation that I'm going to die again and the fact that I the darkness takes my vision doesn't help, and everything became black a few minutes later.

When I woke up, I sit and look around to see paramedics, cops taking my father in a police car, reporters and my mom. Everything seem to be frozen in time because they all looked at me like they just saw a ghost, "What?" I said as the same time that I tilted my head in confusion, which everyone freaked out, I looked down to see that '_I AM A SKELETON!_' I yelled in my head. I tried to pinch myself to be sure it's not a dream, but how am I supposed to pinch my-self if I don't have skin anymore?

After the shock, some cops came to ask me some question about what happened and why it happened, which I answered truthfully. The policemans concluded it wasn't safe for me to stay with my mother and decide to send me to an orphanage.

* * *

It has been three months since I had been sent to an orphanage because nobody in my fucking family wants to raise a living skeleton. Talking about that, to awaken my quirk I needed to die or else I would be quirkless, even though it doesn't mean anything to me, I look like Sans from Undertale, so goodbye irises and hello black eyes with white pupils, and I have the same powers, that means can teleport, use telekinesis, generate bones and give them some properties, and generate dog's head able to launch light beam and of when I use my powers my irises come back brighter than before with somehow a blue steam released by them. Same power, same fucking weakness, that means I get down in one fucking hit, and with the bullies from the orphanage who bully me just because I'm now a skeleton, I kind of needed to increase my reflexes. My reaction to all that, make puns. I know it might be stupid, but it helps a lot. So now, I'm a living skeleton who get down in one hit, bullied, lazy, that we don't feed because "skeletons don't need to eat", at least I'm not gonna have stomachaches, even though I'm hungry, so I steal the food from the kitchen to eat.

I wake up and get out of the bed an hour after. And when I get out of my bedroom I heard: "Guys, the freak is up. Let's go say good morning" one of my bullies told to the others with venom in the last word.

'_Here we go again!_' "Hey, I start to think seriously that you have a bone to pick with me." I said knowing full well that they get angry every time. They screw my morning, I screw theirs. There is nothing more irritated to be angry the morning. 'Oh, I can see a vein pop up on every one of them.' Did I forget to say that they were four kids aged of eleven?

"You know that we're going to hit you harder than we actually wanted by saying that" another kid said.

"Yep, but don't care." I said, making them angrier.

And they rush to beat the shit out of me. Well, dodging's time and I put my hands in my pockets. The first one ignites his fist to hit me in the face which I dodge easily "There is no need to ignite yourself just cause of a sentence" I mocked, the second one tries to electrocute me, but I jump back, and he electrocutes the third one who wanted to make a sneak attack with a knife "Sorry to cut you from your attacks but it was shocking." '_One less.'_I thought. The last one teleport behind me to kick me in the back of my head while I was mocking the second one, but I'm not gonna let him hit me, so I teleport behind him and start walking away. I'm tired by doing this every day, so I'm going to leave the orphanage tonight, after all why should I stay in an orphanage that don't stop the bullying, especially on the birthday of the victim?

Advantage to be a skeleton is that I don't really need to sleep, so leave the orphanage was easy, especially when it's 2 A.M.  
Okay, I'm a five years old kid without money and a living skeleton who always has a smile on his face and who get down in one hit… I'm so fucked, but it can't be that bad, right?

* * *

It has been eight years since I leave the orphanage, I still grow up, but the doctors said that I'm not grown up anymore once I'm 14 and I'm going to say something. I don't trust doctors anymore. I live in a beach turned dump, Takoba Municipal Beach Park, I fixed a recent computer that was tossed in the trash just cause of a broken screen and I did the same thing with a phone, I took all my degrees online, I even have a box full of them. Okay, I may or may not take all the degrees I can, and they're all under my name. Cool, right?  
I train my quirk an hour per day, and with the time I now wear what Sans from Undertale wears, that means a blue jacket with a white t-shirt, black shorts, pink slippers.

I wander on a street with a bag full of food since it had been days since my last meal, a teenage girl bumped into me, she apologized and start walking again. '_Does she really think I didn't feel her take my wallet?_' So, I teleport before her, hands in pockets. "Do you really think I didn't sense you stealing my wallet?" She looks surprised, that lets me time to use my telekinesis to take my wallet back, and then I looked at her to see that she is in pretty bad shape. There is a lot of scratches, her clothes are dirty, she looks tired, and I can see she doesn't eat since a long time, she might be two years younger than me, and she has a mutation quirk that give her cat's tail, ears and eyes; her hair and/or her fur are white, and she has bright green eyes. Once her shock gone, I see tears falling from her eyes, and she starts to cry all the while apologizing. '_Oh god, I can't believe this, I didn't mean to freak her that much, plus I didn't see she was in bad shape._' I sigh.

"Listen, sorry for freaking you, so what if we start from the beginning. I'm Sans, Sans the skeleton" I said as I stretched my right hand. Of course, I have a farting cushion in my hand.

She stops apologizing and stops crying and looked at me with tears on her eye then at my hand she seems hesitant but finally shake while saying "I-I'm Lili." and the sweet sound of a fart came. I can say she's really embarrassed.

"Heheh… the farting cushion in the hand trick is always funny." I said as she went from embarrassed to confused, and then she started pouting and said "Meany". '_Okay, she's cute!_'

"Do you want to come with me? After all, homeless kids should help each other." I said, but she seems to hesitate but still angry.

"You're just joking, right?" she said while glaring dagger.

"Don't glare at me like that, it gave me chills in my spine. But I'm dead serious about I asked you." I said, making her chuckle and my smile grew wider. Believe it or not. '_She's not mad anymore, so it's good sign._'

"Okay, but I keep an eye on you." she said without realizing the pun… and I laugh "What are you laughing at?" she asked angrily with her tail outstretched, which make me laugh even more

"Y-You made an unintentional pun… plus I should be the one to say 'I keep an _eye_ on you'" I said while trying to take my breath back. And she pouted again, which make me laugh again. '_She's like a kitten, too pure for this world, and I'm __gonna__ protect her even if it means my death. After all,it's what a hero would do._'


End file.
